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Friday, April 01, 2011

Big week coming up

This next week is going to be a rather big and controversial calender of events but at last the people are going to finally have their voice heard on several key issues.

First up is Mae Beavers and her pass the prescription bottle bill. It would ban the over the counter sale of cough syrup and make it prescription only. It also would add a five cent deposit fee to all such bottles and forbid their open presence in any automobile (HB 0.08 SB040oz).

Next up is "Monkey Bill" Dunn and his mandating the teaching of the bible in state schools. He argues it is part of Tennessee history by way of showing the prosecutions position during the Scopes "Monkey" trial(HB1925, SB6000). Crafty that Dunn.

Next Sen. Mike Bell and his bill to cover the naked Breasts and genitalia on statues and paintings around the state. You would think a man with five kids would have obviously seen it all before but I guess he doesn't want others to fall down his wayward path. I expect the cost of all the metal and marble work will doom this bill but only because of the tough fiscal times. (SB36-24-36 HB 34-24-34)

Sen. Beverly Morraro and Thelma Harper will team up on their bill to limit satellite dishes on houses. Their feeling is the large garish platters are in tight competition with, and decreasing the potential value of their hat collections (SB0002 HB 0002).

Sen. Bill Ketrons "Wine in mosques" bill will be up. His plan to introduce the sale of wine to the traditionally tea toting Muslim population has an incredible 6.7 billion dollar positive fiscal note. Who knew? (SB80%-HB20/20)

Sen. Jim Summerville will bring his bill to smash the schools to pieces as they have not bent to our awe as quickly as needed. (SB1908 HB28000)

Lt. Gov. Ron Ramsey will have a busy week as he jumps from committee to committee casting tie breaking votes on everything from cats in bars to military tanks in parking lots. (various bills)

Rep. Harry Brooks has his bill up to allow death by firing squad for people who throw cigarette butts out car windows. (HB4006 SB0357)

Rep. Julia "Hurricane" Hurley has her no speed limit in school zones near Hooters restaurants bill up (HB085, SB055). I may be wrong but that one might sound a liiiitle self serving.

Democrat leader Rep. Mike Turner will bring his "Card check" bill forward. It says if you are not a member of a union then you can not buy cigars or fatty foods at restaurants and supermarkets (HB275, SB325)

Rep. Craig Fitzhugh will bring the Democrat jobs package forward. It consists of hiring more democrats to be legislators (HB0049 SB0016).

Rep. Jimmy Naifeh will bring his "Fairness in government" bill forward demanding all bills with his approval get full house floor hearing and a clear up or down roll call vote by his chosen members (HB2010, SB2006)

Rep. Kent Williams finally gets his fish hatchery bill to the floor but is alerted that he actually drank what was being offered while waiting to be called forward. (HB.02 oz, No senate companion. Waiting for the return of Mike Williams)


Bill Haslam jumps up front and demands immediate action on key pieces of his cutting edge legislative package. He is taking a firm stand and is ready to ram rod through legislation on allowing moms to give away apple pie. (HB0016 SB0018)

Me? I just plan to sit back and watch. Happy April 1st.

2 comments:

  1. rep: You are one talented comedy writer That is LOL funny.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Elvis's Love ChildApril 1, 2011 at 9:23 PM

    When are you going to introduce a bill to deal with the Bigfoot threat?

    ReplyDelete

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